Once celebrated as one of India’s most naturally gifted cricketers, Laxman Sivaramakrishnan burst onto the scene with immense promise. The leg-spinner famously troubled some of the game’s biggest names, including Saleem Malik and Imran Khan. Yet, despite such a dazzling start, his international career did not stretch as long as many had expected.

 Reflecting on his journey in an interview with The Indian Express, Sivaramakrishnan revealed that his struggles went beyond form and performance, pointing instead to painful off-field experiences, particularly repeated incidents of racism, that left lasting emotional scars.

One of the earliest such incidents occurred when he was just 14 years old. Having joined an Indian training camp as a net bowler at Chepauk, he had hurried to change after practice when a senior India batsman called out to him. Still in his cricket whites, he was unexpectedly asked to clean the player’s shoes. 

Shocked by the request, Sivaramakrishnan remembered responding firmly, “I just looked at him and said, ‘That’s none of my business, you just do what you need to do.’” 

He later realized that the senior player had mistaken him for ground staff. At the time, however, he was simply confused. “I didn’t know what racism or colour discrimination was. I was just wondering why this man had to react like this,” he said.

Unfortunately, this was far from an isolated experience. During his time in the Tamil Nadu team, he recalled being referred to as “karupa,” a term pointing to his dark skin tone. The hostility extended beyond dressing rooms as well. 

While fielding near the boundary in cities like Mumbai, Chandigarh, and Jalandhar, he would often hear crowds taunting him with chants of “Kalia, tera kya hoga,” mocking his appearance.

Another deeply hurtful moment came on his 17th birthday during a team gathering. As a cake was brought out to celebrate, a senior Indian player allegedly remarked, comparing its color to Sivaramakrishnan’s skin.

 “Hey Sunny, you ordered the right colour cake. Such a dark chocolate cake for a dark boy,” the player said. The comment left him devastated. Overcome with emotion, he broke down and initially refused to cut the cake. 

It was Sunil Gavaskar who stepped in to comfort the young spinner. “I started crying and refused to cut the cake. Sunil Gavaskar had to pacify me, and then I cut the cake with tears in my eyes,” Sivaramakrishnan recalled. These incidents, he suggested, were among the unseen challenges that affected him deeply, shaping not just his personal experiences but also his journey in the game.